Our wounds are our allies – Five steps to healing our emotional scars

Our wounds are our allies –  Five steps to healing our emotional scars

Processing our emotions can be uncomfortable but it certainly does not mean constantly re-living them and seeing them as obstacles to having the life we want. On the contrary, our emotions, are our allies, internal maps for us to navigate on our journey back to a more heart centered connection with ourselves. For the most part, what causes us pain is not our emotions per se, but our resistance to our emotions. 

I am coming to see the process of healing as being reminiscent of a house party where a guest (our wound), with whom we have had a conflicting relationship in the past, and whom we were mostly avoiding is also invited.

Bring up to the screen of your mind a party scene where you will observe yourself and this special guest interacting together. Stay neutral as much as possible. Record your thoughts. Write without stopping to think. Just put on paper the first things that come to your mind. It can be very revealing and eventually very liberating.

Your Wound

Identify – Acknowledge – Invite – Converse

Let it go

Step 1. Identify your Wound. What is it exactly? Be honest with yourself. Where in your body is it residing? A good indicator is often a very heavy sensation in your chest. See your wound. Observe it. How does it make you feel? Are there any images associated with it? Any sounds you hear when experiencing this? any other sensations? Observe neutrally, be a witness of yourself without judging. Record your thoughts. 

Step 2. Acknowledge your Wound. Don’t pretend it does not exist. Sometimes, especially with older generations, people become very uncomfortable when you bring up something of an emotional nature. They change the subject or become very defensive. Avoiding to acknowledge something that hurts can only amplify its power. Like in the party scene mentioned above be brave and waive at your wound even from afar. This is bound to shift something in your perspective and energy body. Even by a little each time. Observe your sensory reactions once again. Write them down.

Step 3. Invite your wound to sit next to you. Visualize yourself sitting at a green round table and your wound sitting across you. Close your eyes briefly, take three long and deep breaths and secretly set the intention to find inner peace and resolution. When you are ready open your eyes and face your wound. Allow it to bring up anything uncomfortable for you to observe. Don’t stay there too long but not too little either. Once you feel a shift happening allow yourself to slowly shift to the next stage. Start talking this out with your wound. 

Step 4. Start a conversation with your wound. Be honest with yourself and fully express your thoughts and feelings with passion and compassion. Say all that you mean to and mean all that you say. Speak from need. After that observe all your sensory experiences. 

Step 5. When you are ready for closure, stand up, open your arms, and give your wound a hug. And then at the extension of this give yourself a hug. Stay there as much as you need to. When you are ready, let your wound go with gratitude for showing you the way to yourself. Record your thoughts, feelings and sensations.

You can repeat this process in the near future, only if you feel called to do so. If you do choose to repeat this process and check in with your wound again, see if you will have new things to share next time. You most likely will. Once we start processing our emotions, they start to shift, even if we often cannot yet see this. It is like being on a boat out at sea. We do not see the boat moving, we do not see ourselves moving, the water always looks the same and we feel the shore is far far away, when in reality we are in fact moving. We need to know deep inside that we are moving. Keep this image with you. Keep the faith in you. Let your faith be like dolphins jumping around you mid-sea, bringing messages of light and hope. Know that you are guided to the shore. You are.